Dilema

Tak dapat ku mengelak akan indahnya kata-kata yang terucap
Tak mampu ku berpijak sendiri, ingin dirimu ku dekap selalu
Kau titipkan hatimu, entah kapan kau akan kembali
Bimbang kini menghampiri, haruskah aku menanti
Pudar sudah semangat yang tersimpan
Tergores oleh ketidakpastian yang semakin membebani
Menyayat senyuman menjadi kesedihan
Di atas tumpukan pesona yang hanya sementara saja
Hembusan kebahagiaan terasa berhamburan, tidak jelas tujuannya
Awan hitam nampak menutupi ruang kebaikan,
Menyelimuti keindahan abadi yang seharusnya tak tersentuh
Kehampaan pun semakin menjadi-jadi,
Mengisi hati dan pikiran yang terus saja menanti
Banyak dusta yang terucap
Sekedar untuk mengantisipasi munculnya amarah
Banyak harapan yang terucap
Sekedar untuk menyenangkan hati
Ketakutan kini bersahabat dengan kesedihan
Yang mana memiliki kekuatan untuk mengulang waktu
Semakin lama keduanya semakin kuat
Hingga mampu menciptakan tangisan penyesalan dan kebencian
Akhirnya, hati yang paling kuat sekalipun
Seakan berteriak memohon belas kasihan
Memohon agar diberikan kesempatan
Untuk mengatakan, "Kembalikan Napasku"

 Tuesday, Dec' 6th - 2011
23:43
Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada

Poizon Brothers - TERNATE

Jang haga sana - sini
Jang lia kanan - kiri
Mari rapat kamari
Jang pusing sa'sandiri
Buang ingatan lama
So pasti tara sama
Macam dong jaga bilang
Laeng dulu - laeng skarang
Satu kali so datang
Rasa - rasa mo ulang
Sampe so lupa pulang
Pulang di kampong ulang
Hati so ingin tinggal, Tinggal di Ternate
Di kaki gunung Gamalama torang ta'kumpul
Inga baku inga torang s'lalu baku inga
Jaga baku jaga torang s'lalu baku jaga
Satu torang satu, satu darah satu jiwa
S'lalu baku rasa dalam suka atau duka
Apa yang ngana rasa, torang samua rasa
Apa yang ngana lia, torang samua lia
Apa yang ngana dengar, torang samua dengar
Satu dari hati, satu sampe mati
Santai bos santai...!!!
S'karang so beda skali
So bukang dulu - dulu
Waktu itu so berlalu
Mari bos mari...!!!
Silahkan lewat sini
S'karang so lebe bagus
Kota indah penuh warna
Ternate...!!! Samua ada di sini
Ternate...!!! Persatuan junjung tinggi
Ternate...!!! Satu rasa samua rasa
Ternate...!!! Dalam hati cuma satu
TERNATE...!!! ^__^

Tuesday, November 15th - 2011
Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada

Days Of Heroes ( 11 to 10 )

Looking through my window
Sun doesn't ready to face the shadows
Trees are singing and surviving
From the giant dews
The wind blows slowly,
Breathing everything
Like the alarm clock in the morning,
Everything from the outside is waking up
Like marbels that are falling down
Seems like the roof wants to give up
Hahaha... It's funny
I'm thinking of the invasion from the sky for a while
The maple leaves on the soil
Looks like a crowd of people
Who want to collect the blessing from the sky
Today is wet and still
Oh ya...
I went to the celebration of the remembrance day
A couple hours ago
21 guns!!! Awesome...
My body was in there
But not my mind actually
I remember that
There was a big event in Indonesia yesterday
Do you know what is that?
Indonesia celebrated "Hari Pahlawan"

Different

I' not sure to play this game
"Because my heart doesn't feel the same"
I don't need your sympathy
Because everything is visible to see
I won't pretend if I feel lonely
I feel like this time is taking more deadly
"Those moments won't come back again"
Now "I'm just trying to hide in my pain"
"The moments" that we had is not for free
It's "just once and no two or three"
I'm thinking, how if we have never met before
So I can stay and don't have to coming for
Maybe I was held by the sorrow
But now I have the chance to go
It has taken "long time to think"
"But I have the answer now" and sing
I'm here with my weak posture
Because "too tired to find something pure"
"Everything is just masked by the lies"
And I'm just quiet in silent without realize
Now my world is turned and black
When everything inside hopes for luck

Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada
Wednesday, November 9th 2011

One's Irreplaceable

GOD please save her when I'm not there
Nights and days I send my prayers
I hope she is okay
And feels better when I'm not staying
I am always crying when I wake up
Because she is always coming in my dream
I'm so sorry, I'm not there
I miss you...
It's not that easy
When I can't see your face
I'm not gonna breathing
When I'm tired and sleeping
Like the valley of death
Like I'm walking into the dream
You know I don't wanna be alone
Because the sadness will always won
Seems like it has been so long
I hope I'm not making something wrong
I wish I could take it and erase
I don't wanna see the tears in your face
I wish I could see you now, in front
My heart is missing you on and on
I feel so lonely
I want you just hold me
And pull the sore inside me
No one can change this feeling
Now I'm just stay here and waiting
I wish the time is coming
Because now my heart is calling
And I hope you are listening

Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada
Tuesday, November 8th 2011
... 22:01

When My Heart Is Gone

Stranger comes and ask for cry
But I have mine I choose to fight.
Are you try to challenge me?
You'll have no choice, just come and see.
Honestly, I don't even know who I am
But I will keep fighting until the end.
No worry comes and disturb my head.
I'm staring and lead for this game.
I will take my own to save.
It's devided and spread out everywhere.
I take all the risks and keep on my own 'till it's over.
It doesn't appear clearly and doubting me instantly.
I'm laying in your hovel,
You give me your hound but it's nothing for me.
This hostile will always exist.
Even the dog and owl are screaming together
To complete this scary moment, it's not enough.
I had a phantom, always ready for me.
No stranger that appear as mine.
Pouring out the anger and change it into the phobia
And let it pierce straight to your heart.
That seed grows up and destroy from the inside.
I send it for your heart.
That is my curse.
I will save this secrecy for the next enemy
And send the other seed to be another demon.
I'll keep my place in spooky,
Let my tiger free and make you down so low.
No haven for you,
I destroyed it with my raven.
This rebellion is just for my enemy
And you are the stupid one who resisted me.

Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada
Tuesday, November 8th 2011

Fake Beyond The Perfection

Do you know what am I thinking now? 
I'm thinking about the most beautiful thing of God's creation.  
But everything is vanished when I see the biggest difference too. 
I see the rainbow which only has one color.  
Isn't it strange?  
I suddenly feel that God does not love me anymore.  
The question is...
How could I see the rainbow colored black
While at the same time,
People around me is struck by its Beautifull. 
Then I realized that this moment is not Mine
So, I'll wait until I actually see the true colors of that rainbow.  
How do you think I feel right now?  
Absolutely...!!!
This reality is very difficult for me to accept
And make ​​me very sad.  
I do not believe it...!!!
Rainbow is always about the joy
But I am sad when I see the rainbow

Hmm... 
Should I cry now? 
Should I be angry now?  
Even though I have to do it all
I still cannot change that.  
I don't have the power for that.
What I have to do now is
"Smile when I feel sad"
"Laugh when I'm crying"
"Happy when I'm angry"

Summerside, P.E.I - Canada
Monday, November 7th 2011

The Evidence

I don't care...!!!
I'm taking back my own
you don't have to pay
Let me go,
I don't want to feel it more
Don't you know that you are fake?
Like I'm flying in the sky
But it's just a dream
I won't go in too deep
And I will scream so loud
Wake me up...!!!
I've made mistake
And it ruins all the ways
All I can say, my heart is awake
Throw away...!!!
I change the saddest thing become  the anger places
And scream
I've been brave, since I had this time to break
I've been standing far away
Trying and trying
To find the place to stay
Fill my mind to close the space
Never and never get back and see the fake confess
I won't claim this phase as the real conflict
I have the clues to escape and make it better

Summerside, P.E.I - Canada
Monday, November 7th 2011
... 13:48 ...

When Devil Chooses To Be An Angel

Ow shit...!!!
It's getting worse
The poison is more sweet to taste now
Difficult to find the different because
Almost all of the poison, beautiful and perfect
A question stuck in my head, am I a victim now?
I don't even know how it works
I don't even know what should I do to find the answer
I feel like in danger when I see the fact
It's kind of confusing when the disease is coming
It feels so comfort and you will not believe
That you are in trouble and that is how it works
You will find the way
When the poison is stop to reaction
Oh My GOD...!!!
Now I know it
The poison is come out by the eyes and the lips
Which is always send the hypnotize words
Like the pray songs to GOD
That is the most horrible thing
And it always follow you like your shadow
I wish I knew that, so I can try to avoid it
And make the huge space for that poison
It was too late...!!!
I still don't believe I got the disease now
I still don't believe I got the poison now.

Summerside, Prince Edward Island - Canada

....03:21 pm

My Angel (I Think I Love You)

I can't stop thinking about you
And I hope you feel like I do too
I'll save all the memories that we had in my mind...
Everything about you always make me want to...
I want to stay beside you and keep your face in my eyes
Stay with me, breath in free
My heart is singing now
Do you hear that?...
You know, I cannot run from you
And you know that it was true
And I'm glad of that
Resting peacefully in my embrace
And just take your time
Do whatever you want...
You make me feel so different
And I have something to say
With you, I can feel better...
A perfect moment and place
An Angel stands with smiling face
Hugging me, Kissing me....!!!

Summerside, Prince Edward Island - Canada

...03:18

Thank You

Nobody knows this gonna happen
And this is perfect
There is no regret
I know I'll not feel like this, ever
And that is okay if this just once forever
Smile, always smile
This place is full of happy tale...
Dance, let us dance
We have something in this place...
Let's share the fun
Make the best in this time...
Come to join and play
I'm so happy today
Let me say Thank you!!!
There is no sad for today
Imagine something to say
Let me say Thank You!!!
Let it go, smile in your face
Time goes so fast, we don't even know

Summerside, Prince Edward Island - Canada
Monday, November 7th 2011

Mountain Of Dream

I was almost touched the top of the mountain,
When a wild stone came and pulled me into the pain
I closed my eyes and spoke with my heart,
Should I be mad for something like that?
Then I opened my eyes to get something fresh to see,
There was something incredible that made everything so sweet
I knew that it was not gonna work,
But if I don't try, it will get worse
Then I know that the only problem is about the time
I had the chance which is the best one
And I know that it will disappear, erase mine
Time goes fast since I was trying
I made a joke for the next meeting,
That I will be back and climb it again
You know what!!! I wish I could...
I'm getting tired every second to see up and down
I heard the whispers around my ears...
"Hanging on, you are almost there!!!"
"Ya Right!!!" I told to my mind
"Maybe next time, not now"


Thursday' November 3rd - 2011
Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada (20:37)

A Story (Gorgeous Woman)

I try to stand still on my way and now it's changing
I've never feel like this before, you're so amazing
You send the rain on my summer side
Like the waves at the beach that wipe out the sand
I know we're not in the same way
But I'll make sure that you are my breath everyday
I hate my self when I see you crying in front of me...
Do I make you sad?
Now I feel so bad
I just need your smile
My girl...
I regret that I made some mistakes
And I won't let you see my face
If there's something I can do
I'll do it just for you
I'll pray to GOD all night long
And hope an angel comes along
I'll pray to GOD all night long
Because you mean a lot to me...
I don't wanna see it
When I know that you are sad
I'm breathing in regret
So I beg you to stop it
I'm sorry....
There is a story! When I meet you girl
There is a story! That I've never had before
There is a story! And it's happening now
You are my story...

27 Oktober 2011 jam 7:29
Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada

The Revenge

I'm not gonna be afraid, I'll fight till the end of my breath
I'm here gonna feel okay, I'm standing still on my way
And I'm waiting here hope for something different
Something new to face, no matter storm and rain
Until the night comes
And cold wraps around my arms
I'm ready
And still here for this tragedy
I will burn your eyes, I'll show what you've done
Welcome to my class and get ready to die
If my eyes are closed beyond this fight
I hope it's alright
Because I won't let you feel sad, I won't let you feel bad
Just keep in mind to find the sign
Maybe one day, we'll back here again
I send my pray to bless you in urgent
Please don't make me feel down now...

I Need You Here

I've done everything, to prove my love and make sure that you are the only
The only I need, the only I want, the only I trust
But I don't know why this happened to me, just like a child who lost his cake
Just hiding and crying. Nothing he can do, realizing his own weakness
Stay right here!!! I will be waiting for you
Stay right here!!! Nothing can change my mind
Stay right here!!! I want you to come back now
Come back now...
I miss your voice and I miss your face
I want you to come back here again
Throw out the sadness in my mind
Tell me where so I can find
This place is so empty without you
But I felt so lucky when I met you
Waiting in here with all of my tears
I need you here...
I do not know what to say
I do not know what to do
Like the night that missed the moon
I want to hug you soon
I saved my last breath for you
I save my last prayer for you
Everything for you ...
I want you to come back here again ... I need you here
This place is so silent without your voice ... I need you here

No More "Us"

I told you to stop it and hope you did
But everything has changed now, it goes so down
You put a disappointment in my heart
You let me burn beside the star
You pull me down and make me scared
You hurt me so much, you did it too much
Yeah...!!!
Go away from me, I don't need you more
Now, there's a line between us, there's no love between us
No more love...
Even though we try so hard,
It isn't the same anymore
You are not yourself anymore
Like I wasted my life... I felt it, I meant it, I thought it
Now, I try to find some spaces
I need to fill up a new place in my heart with a new star,
It could be a star up there in the sky
Honestly, I don't care if it is a star, the moon or the sun
Atleast all of them are from the beautiful sky
I hope, I could get the other one, although just in my dream

Tuesday, October 4th - 2011
Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island - Canada

Canada To Ternate

I open my eyes this morning and it's not usual
The sky wasn't blue like yesterday, not at all
Tik... Tik... Tik...
There are many sounds out there but it comes from the tik
Suddenly, my mind is going to another place
Yup!!! I knew this place
There are many moments that happened here
Happiness, sadness, smile, anger, laugh, cry, peaceful, love...
I try to get my mind back
But it's very hard like a son who meets his mother after separated for many years
There is a longing that made my mind feel at home and won't come back
I recognize that I wanna be there right now
But there is something I should do
I've promised to myself, I'm not gonna change my mind
I will be back and continue the next moments after that

Saturday,October 1st - 2011
Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada

The Promise

Just for you, that's why I still do it
You are the only in my heart and so hard for me to hate it
I told you to keep it, the promise that I've ever said
I love you, I need you, I won't let you go...
If the time must take you, I hope it's not now 'cause many hearts will be hurt
I will stop breathing for you, I need more time to make you smile
So please open your eyes, I'll bring you out from your fears
I'll do it...
I pray to GOD, I need the happiness
And it will happen when I get you back, so I need your love inside me
I'm sick and I'm hurt because you're not here right now

October 1st, 2011... 23:44
Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada

Whisper

Wake up! Fight for your honor
Don't let them try to erase you
Don't give the chance, they will destroy you
Give your best shot so they'll scare
You are not going down, we are here on your side
We can face it together, right here
The gates now are open, to fix all from broken
The heart is beating fast now, waiting
To the sky I make an ask,
Hope an Angel comes to save me from this darkness
Save us now!
By the light of the sun,
We can turn around our sight from the sadness
Save me from this darkness, save me from this sadness
We'll try so hard and hope it's not too late
Show the reasons we're here, show the answers we're here
We are okay now, we don't need that shit!!!
Sacrifice! the time will never come back
Send it back, don't let the sorrow fill your mind

We will never go back, we will never turn back
We'll fight together until the end
Control yourself just for this moment
To create the new victory

And send your name next in the future
We'll make the history
Prepare yourself to face the challenge, everything
Rise up and struggle for your wishes

I Knew You Were There

There's something new that I found here and it's so fast
But I still try to remember what I've done in the last
Even with my little spirit, I will stay and go for it.
There's also something that I believe and make me unbelieve
It's like the rain which falls down to the sea and becomes one
So do you and me who will always be there and facing each other.
There's no doubt in my heart if I talk about you.
It's like the sun that lights up the sky and the birds sing for it.
I just can't imagine if I should go alone, then I'm thinking again and that's okay

Because I Knew You Were There.

Friday, September 30th - 2011
Charlottetown, P.E.I - Canada ... (23:57)

Which One!!!

Confusing, when I stand beside you. I don't know what should I do
Too much, your asks and your wishes. Getting worse when I did something wrong,
You're screaming and crying.
What do you want?
I'm not your hands, I'm not your eyes.
Who do you think you are?
You're not my mind, you're not my mouth.
Which one should I take between love and loved.
Which one should I have between lie and life.
We are not the same again, so just go your way
Because I'll be okay with that.

Black and White

There's nothing we can find here, maybe it's hidden in emptiness.
The silent took the job to bring the emptiness direct to the darkness,
through the pieces of light that scattered around the sorrowful.
Are we saved already?
Don't ever think that you will if you never try.
Use your mind to get the best choice and just do it.
The light will come by its own way and bring the joyful,
erase all the sadness to get the perfect moment
and lift it up to the beautiful place.
We will see the difference comes out through the way of expectation
and make it complete with smiles and laughs.

1 (satu)

Aku tak dapat bertahan di sini sendiri. Seakan aku berjalan dalam kegelapan
Kini kau menghilang, kau buat ku hampa
Pergi tanpa dekapan, aku terluka
Apa yang kau lakukan, kecewakan aku
Membunuh rasa sayangku untukmu...
Satu yang ku mau, kembalilah padaku...
Satu yang ku mau, jangan kau pergi...
Tak bisa ku lepaskan dirimu untuk yang lain...
Tak sanggup ku lewati hidup tanpamu...
Tak akan ada yang bisa menggantikanmu...
Di hatiku...

Perasaanku

Mungkin aku salah
Karena tak pernah nyatakan cinta
Yang tersimpan di hatiku
Sebenarnya aku
Ingin kau tahu
Apa yang kurasakan padamu
Dengarkan aku, bisikan hatiku,
Kan kuhapuskan perih
Pang kau rasakan
Kini kau terluka
Dan aku tersiksa,
Biarlah waktu yang menjawab semua...
Lelaplah di hatiku...
Diamkan dirimu sejenak waktu...

Pertama

Terbawa...
Ku terbawa derasnya ombak cintamu,
Hanyutkanku
Terbius...
Ku terbius paras cantikmu, menggoda, Tak kulupa
Inikah namanya cinta...
Saat kudekati dirinya ku tak kuasa.
Terdiam membisu,
Berdebar jantungku, aneh tingkahku.
Inikah namanya cinta...
Hanya dirinya yang ada di hati ini,
Tak ada yang lain
Tak ada yang bisa menggantikanmu...
Ku ingin kau tahu,
Ku ingin kau mengerti
Bahwa diriku telah jatuh hati
Ku ingin kau tahu,
Ku ingin kau mengerti
Bahwa hatiku ini
Hanya untukmu.

Kau Berbeda

Tak seperti biasanya,
Kini kau t'lah berubah,
Kau berbeda
Dan tinggalkan banyak tanya bagiku.
Apa yang kau sembunyikan dariku!!!
Kau lukai aku, khianati aku,
Kau tak tepati janjimu, Kau hilangkan aku, Kau buang aku dari pikiran dan hatimu.
Aku tak tahu harus berbuat apa lagi,
Kini aku sendiri ditemani sepi.
Aku kecewa...
Ku ingin kau di sini
Hangatkan hatiku
Yang kini beku tanpamu...

No Fear

In a crowd I feel so empty
And I've lost my world instantly...
Taken away my breath to pray
And it's killing me down far away...
The eyes now begin to hate
So what should I do if this is my fate...
Start thinking fast
Because it's not your last...
Follow the voice of your heart
And scream loud
To show that this is our time...
I don't care what you say
Because the time has just begun...
I won't let this time just go emptily Because tomorrow will be filled
With the mysteries...
Maybe we stand in the last day,
That's why I'll try to enjoy everyday...
Without thinking so long
Because there's nothing to fear...

Merindukanmu

Sempat ku merasa hilang arah
Ketika membuka mata di pagi hari.
Cahaya pertama yang bersinar,
Semakin lama
Semakin mengingatkanku akan dirimu.
Hingga saat ini,
Hanya harapan yang mengisi hilangnya kekuatanku untuk selalu mengingatmu. Berharap kau di sana
Masih memiliki secuil kenangan
Yang pernah terajut,
Yang mungkin akan berubah
Menjadi cinta sejati
Ketika sampai pada waktunya. Mungkin terlalu berlebihan jika memaksakan harapanku padamu.
Tapi semua itu
Adalah suara kesunyian hatiku
Akan hilangnya sesuatu
Yang paling berharga
Yang pernah ku miliki,
Yang mana memberi arti baru
Dalam hatiku saat ini.
Kerinduan...
Ya!!! Aku Merindukanmu...

Egois

Aku terlalu jauh melangkah,
Hingga tinggalkan dirimu...
Mungkin ku melupakanmu,
Hancurkan perasaanmu...
Tak ku sadari semua itu,
Ternyata melukaimu...
Hilangkan rasa sukamu...
Hilangkan rasa sayangmu...
Tak pernah terpikirkan,
Kau akan terluka akan
Tingkahku yang s'lalu saja memaksa
Mungkin ku mulai bosan
Atau mungkin lupa akan dirimu.
Ku mulai terbebani akan tingkahku,
Ku tenggelam dalam mimpi indahku sendiri
Tanpa memikirkanmu,
Tanpa memahamimu.
Perlahan tapi pasti kusadari semua,
Akan sikapku yang mulai egois
Tanpa memikirkanmu,
Tanpa memahamimu...

Homesickness

Now I'm far from home
And it takes so long.
The time that I need...
Just to come back home
And just to see you all
You are all that I need.
And I pray to GOD to save you all
I beg YOU don't leave.
GOD I need YOUR blessing
GOD I need YOUR love...
Mommy... Daddy...
When I'm here, I miss you
When I'm here, I need you
I can't take this any longer...
I wish you were here...
I'm stuck here in loneliness...
Brothers and sisters,
My friends My Family...
Throw out my sadness
I'm homesick here...
I Miss You All

September 13th - 2011
Cibubur, Jakarta - Indonesia

Last Hope

I'm hurt because I made you hurt
And I regret seeing you change.
You're different now and I feel so guilty.
It's not what I mean.
I didn't realize all would be like this. I'm sorry...
Deep in my heart I beg your pardon.
You mean so much to me.
I need you...
I wish I could hear your voice again,
Yelling my name and hug me tightly.
There's nothing I can do here.
You don't belong to me anymore.
I'm weak without you...
You are my live...
My last...
My luck...
You are my love.

September 28th - 2011... 21.10
Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island - Canada

My Lucky Day

Too much time that I've spent
without you here,
And that makes me feel empty.
There's just a blank frame,
A piece of paper and a pen
That's waiting to be filled up
With your face and smile.
Maybe I'm sad, maybe I'm lonely
Because I'm too far from you,
But I'm still hanging on with my last strength,
Just for you.
Until I find the day that makes me comfortable,
And it's today...
This is My Lucky Day,
When you come to me.
You light a candle of memories that I probably lost.
You throw a ball of snow
And it makes me remember everything.
You change my dark day become so light
And it's all because of you...

September, 28th - 2011... 20:19
Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island - Canada